A preachers application

Good Morning Little Flock,

I hope that you all are doing well this weekend and that God is blessing
you greatly. Well I have some good news and some bad news for you today.
But before we get into the good and bad I'd ask that you all welcome;
Nisi C, seruwaia naucukidi, and SONJFLORES into our little flock.
Thank you so much for joining this ministry I pray that by the grace of
God our efforts will lift you up each and every single day and that Our
Lord will bless you as well as all my little flock in His love.

Alrighty now, let's do the bad news first, OK? I guess you might say
that your online pastor is in trouble. Not the bad kind of trouble but
just trouble... You see I have been sending out all these emails to you
all and adding pictures and midi's, and singing music... I really love
the pictures and music too but apparently I have been making them way to
large, especially with the singing wav's music...

Well my goodness, I blew up the servers equipment the other day... I
just overloaded it beyond it's capacity and down the thing went...
Anyway they found out that it was your little fat online preacher what
done it so it looks as though we get no more music except when I put it
on my web site pages.. So far that's OK. And that's the good news part.
So our mail is going to a little plainer but at least I'll still be able
send some out. I knew they wanted me to try and keep my mail under 500KB
but the other day it was close to 900KB.

Now if I were sending it to just a few, like 10 or perhaps 20 emails it
wouldn't be a problem. But when over 630 emails hit the server all at
once and everyone of them singing their hearts out, well Johnny Cash and
the Carter family were singing their hearts out, all I can say is that
the band width just didn't appreciate all that good music and fried the
circuits... (smile) Now fried biscuits might be alright but fried
circuits is a definite, NO NO...

So here we are, singing our little song, playing our little guitar,
typing on our little keyboard, kicking the little can, and saying; Well
Glory; Ain't God Good cause we're still getting out the mail, putting
pages on our web site, and praising His Holy Name and the devil just
isn't stopping that from happening... Thank you Lord for your mercy and
your love. Besides I count it a blessing that the devil counts this
ministry worth his efforts. So you just step up to the bat with your bad
self ole devil because My Lord and Heavenly Father has a fast ball that
your just not going to believe... You already have two strikes against
you and this next one is going to tangle your eyes when it goes bye,
bye..

Well, my goodness, let's get on with our story now. I'm about to get all
wound up and start preachin before you know it and this letter is long
enough already. I don't believe DCT would appreciate me frying their
server equipment again so soon... (smile)

I wish to thank my little sister in Christ, Tammy for sharing this with
me today.. I don't believe this preacher would be allowed to pastor or
most likely, even be allowed preach in most of the churches today.

===================================

A Preacher's Application

A certain church found itself suddenly without a pastor, and a search
committee was formed to find a replacement. In due time of course, the
committee received a letter from a clergyman applying for the position.
The letter read:

Dear Sirs:

Understanding that your pulpit is vacant, I should like to submit my
application. I am generally considered to be a good preacher. I have
been a leader in most of the places I have served. I have also found
time to do some writing on the side. I am over 50 years of age, and
while my health is not the best, I still manage to get enough work done
so as to please my parish.

As for references, I am somewhat handicapped. I have never preached in
any place for more than three years. And the churches I have preached
in have generally been pretty small, even though they were located in
rather large cities. In some places, I had to leave because my ministry
caused riots and disturbances. Even where I stayed, I did not get along
too well with other religious leaders in the town, which may influence
the kind of references these places will send you. I have also been
threatened several times and even physically attacked. Three or four
times, I have gone to jail for witnessing to my convictions.

Still, I feel sure I can bring vitality to your church, even though I am
not particularly good at keeping records. I have to admit, I don't even
remember all those whom I've baptized. However, if you can use me, I
should like to be considered.

Hearing the letter read aloud, the committee members were aghast. How
could anyone think that a church like theirs could consider a man who
was nothing but a troublemaking, absentminded ex-jailbird? Everyone
wanted to know the man's name.

"Well," said the chairman of the committee, "the letter is simply
signed, 'Paul'."

You might recognize him by his prior alias: Saul of Tarsus or later to
become: Paul, the Great Apostle.

If we approach the task of shopping for a Preacher from a worldly point
of view, we will likely miss the qualities that are important to God.

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Until we meet again;

May we each yield our lives to Jesus and tell all those
we meet what God has done in our lives and how He
has saved our soul from an eternity in Hell. For complete
surrender to Him brings complete victory. Well Glory!

May your Day be Filled in His Love,

Jim

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